As we start a new year, kids are more economically mindful than they were in 2008. A newspaper headline in December noted, “Recession? Teenagers Get It, and Are Cutting Back.” But that’s cold comfort to parents dealing with young people behaving badly with money.
Financial acting out is an oft-hidden family secret. Family tensions, depression, powerlessness (and prematurely gray hair) are linked with concerns about prolonged financial irresponsibility. Financial oblivion at 10 is normal; at 16 it’s a concern; by 25 it’s a chronic and serious problem. And the issue is as prevalent in families with significant assets as in those just eking it out. It’s not about the money, it’s about the behavior.

Your family could learn from a probation violation reduction program.
Steven Alm, a state trial judge in Hawaii intent on reducing the prison population in that state, developed a strategy families will do well to emulate. As Jeffrey Rosen tells the story in the New York Times Magazine, Judge Alm’s effort, a program called HOPE (Hawaii’s Opportunity Probation with Enforcement), had almost immediate success.
The Judge observed that the state prison population was swelling, in large part because parolees continuously violated probation and were inevitably sent back to prison. He asked himself, “What did I do when my son was young?” And told writer Jeff Rosen, “If he misbehaved, I talked to him and warned him, and if he disregarded the warning, I gave him some kind of consequence right away.” So, Rosen reports, Alm reasoned that if parolees knew a probation violation would lead immediately to some certain punishment, they might shape up.
Alm began with a fair warning. At a hearing for 34 offenders, he announced that if any of them tested positive for drugs or missed an appointment, they would be arrested within hours and most would have a hearing within 72 hours. Those found to have violated probation would be quickly sentenced to a short jail term proportionate to the severity of the violation — typically a few days. Like a good parent, Alm added,
I can guarantee that everyone in this courtroom wants you to succeed on probation, but you have not been cutting it. From now on, you’re going to follow all the rules of probation, and if you don’t, you’re going to be arrested on the spot and spend some time in jail right away.
Alm steeled himself to handle a flood of parole violations. That didn’t happen. Rosen says, “There were only three hearings in the first week, two in the second week and none in the third. Within six months, parolees return to prison fell by 93%, compared to 14% in a comparison group.” How did Judge Alm change the behavior of parolees?
- Whether its with parolees or with your kids, punishments need to be:
- Reliable
- Immediate
- Fair
- Consistent
Child development specialists have long understood that threat of mild punishment, reliable and immediate (loss of cell phone privileges for a few days), is more effective than threats of severe punishment that’s delayed and uncertain (that unfilled threat that “your father will never allow you to use the car again”). As Rosen notes, current research in behavioral economics demonstrates that “people are more sensitive to the immediate than the slightly deferred future and focus more on how likely an outcome is than how bad it is.”
Rosen reports that, “in the course of implementing HOPE, Alm discovered another reason why the strategy works: people are most likely to obey the law when they’re subject to punishments they perceive as legitimate, fair and consistent, rather than arbitrary and capricious. “When the system isn’t consistent and predictable, when people are punished randomly, they think, ‘My probation officer [my parent] doesn’t like me, or, Someone’s prejudiced against me,” Alm told Rosen, “rather than seeing that everyone who breaks a rule is treated equally, in precisely the same way.”
Parents who are ready to ‘re-launch’ family expectations and financial behavior as part of a new start to 2010 may find that emulating Judge Alm’s methods will bring about change in their own family. Critical to keep in mind is that the Judge started with his own behavior before expecting his parolees to change theirs. Often that’s the hardest part.
Read the full report.